


Everything Lost

by FoxNote



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, implied self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 10:30:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3324224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxNote/pseuds/FoxNote
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren's Inner Thoughts: Heichou seems off today. I better keep an eye on him. With the loss of his squad I know he's hurting, though he doesn't show it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything Lost

With a resounding crack Levi punched his stone wall for the hundredth time. His knuckles bled and his fingers were surely broken but nothing mattered. The few things that had mattered had been ripped away from him. All for one stupid boy and a dumb chance that he could save humanity. They were reluctant to believe it; he wished they had kept that doubt. They might still be alive now.

Another crack against the wall before he slid down against it. A bottle slipped out of his hand, he did not know how it had gotten there. His face felt hot and wet, his body singing with tension. Everything had been lost. 

The man spent some time on the ground, shaking and trying to make sense of the world around him. It was not working. With everything he cared for falling around him the one thing that mattered was that he kept everything in perspective, everything had its place. Now it was all falling apart. He felt a sound leave him but his ears heard nothing but the thrumming of his heart. 

Standing he attempted to make his way to a place more comfortable. That was when he noticed the door opening. Without thinking he threw the bottle at the door. It smashed against the door that he was far too close to, glass flying back at him from the force. Whomever had attempted to enter closed the door and ran. 

Levi knelt and picked up the larger fragments of the bottle. He could hear voices scolding him now. Telling him he needed to pick himself up and keep going. Telling him he needed to just give up and lay down like a dog. It was no use any longer. With a horrible limp in his drunken step he made it back over to the desk with the glass in hand. 

Nothing mattered. No one needed him. He was a failure. His squad had depended on him and he let them die. It would be so easy just to give up, to let the sorrow take him. If he did, perhaps he would be able to see them again. Anything to see them again.

His eyes drifted closed as the shivering stopped. Everything settled. The room was quiet. There was a bright light behind his eyes and he heard voices. He felt his feet start walking towards them. 

_”Petra… Oluo… Eld… Gunther… I’m here…”_

It took some time before he could hear what they were saying.

_Captain what are you doing?!_

_You need to keep living for us captain!_

_Don’t you give up on us boss!_

Levi stopped where he was. _“But I can’t keep doing this…”_

_Yes you can Levi, we’re still with you captain._

The four of them came out of the white light and stood around him. He was enveloped by a strange warmth and he felt more tears running down his face. They wrapped their arms around him, holding him tight and speaking to him softly. 

_We’re always gonna be with ya Levi… You have our wings and we give you our strength to keep fighting…_

Suddenly the white light vanished and Levi looked up at the stone ceiling. He squinted, his head throbbing. There was a bed under him with white sheets and walls of curtains around him. A heat was pressed against his one side. Looking over he stared into the sleeping face of a brat, his arm draped over Levi’s stomach as he snored softly. 

The young boy stirred and opened his green eyes. A smile spread across his stupid face. “You’re awake… I’m glad…”

“Stupid brat…” Levi muttered.

_Just keep living for us captain, you have so many that need you and so much to live for._


End file.
